Having a baby during COVID
For the last 18 months we have all been dealing with the emotional roller coaster of what is COVID. There have been so many up’s and down‘s, high’s and low’s and just not knowing when this will end.
I will never forget when it all started. I was in the hospital trying to have my baby and failing at induction that I was told I could have an emergency C-section. It was still technically a choice at that point because my water had not broken yet. Here I was 4 days in the hospital trying to have a baby the doctor tells me this. I was scared, but what was even scarier was when he said I would do this today because of the way supplies is limited and resources are scarce you do not know if it will be okay to have the surgery in a couple weeks. That was all I needed to hear. I said yes and then 20 minutes later I was signing a form and heading off. During my C-Section was when I found out my baby was a boy instead of a girl. That moment was a crazy whirlwind for me, from emergency C-Section, being told the wrong gender and then my husband almost passing out in the Operating room because of it.
As I am laying there I just think of all the things I did not bring for a baby boy, and then it dawned on me. Nobody was allowed in the hospital and my husband was not allowed to leave and come back. I felt stranded, unable to have the comfort of my family. I know that there were worse things going on and people have much more traumatic things happen to them. But in that moment it was traumatic to me.
I will say the hospital was AMAZING. My nurses afterwards helped me out so much and gave me new clothes for my baby boy. It truly was what made me feel like I got this. It was hard not having family visit, no photographer was allowed in to take pictures and we had to wear a mask outside of our room. It was just the beginning of the pandemic, but I think because it was so new it was really scary.
Going home was nice and felt amazing. But the reality sunk in that nobody was going to see my child. The child everyone was so excited for. It was hard. We did window visits and very socially distant walks. It was not until a day in April that the first person held my son, besides my husband and I. It was my brother. It was a flood of emotions. This baby I loved so much and created was finally being held for the master piece he was.
The pandemic did take a lot away from us. It took family trips, get togethers and outings away. It took away newborn pictures, shopping for his outfits and zoo trips. But what it did give us was more time together. My husband was able to be home for 6 weeks with us. He never would have been able to had the pandemic not strike. It gave us game nights and more snuggle time because we had no where we had to be. It gave us a sense of calm during all the crazy outside.
I wouldn’t change the way it all played out and I really do try and look at the positive of it all. Now that he is older and the pandemic is still happening, I think it is all just routine now. We are used to what is our life and for my son this is all he knows. I did not let this pandemic affect my life with my newborn, I just embraced what it gave me.