Finding out the gender... wonderful or terrible?

Let me start by saying everyone has different experiences when it comes to finding out the gender of their baby. For some it is very exciting and nerve racking. While for others, it can be upsetting. And then there is me. I was extremely excited to find out the gender. I had the whole party, the confetti cannons and the games with the little envelope from my doctor which said “It’s a Girl”! We were ecstatic when the pink confetti flew in the air. We rushed to the closest store to buy our baby girl her first outfit. Well that was the first of many. We bought every girly, flowery dress and bow imaginable. We were just so excited. We were planners. We cleaned everything ahead of time, decorated the entire nursery and had multiple pink onesies and dresses for the hospital. We thought we were completely prepared.

Thought we were completely prepared. I look back and think now there is no such thing as completely prepared. There is no amount of preparing you can do, for the moment you hold your baby BOY for the first time. You read that correctly baby boy. After all the ultrasounds and doctors appointments, nobody caught on that someone made a mistake on the gender. In the moment I was flooded with all different emotions that to this day I can not explain. But I look back and think why? Why was finding out the gender so important? Why did I have to plan every little detail out? Why? Why? Why? I look back at my son and think I couldn’t imagine not having a boy, even though I did not plan for it. Even though I didn’t have clothes or a nursery that would have been what I had planned for a boy. I feel there is the expectation to be the perfect first time mom and plan every thing and buy your new baby everything. When in reality what is really worth it all is the baby boy that they put in your arms and that takes away all the worries of planning and making sure everything is perfect. Because what is perfect, is him.

So for me finding out the gender is not important at all. My feelings about it has changed tremendously and that is okay. Some people need to find out, but for me the unknown just seems a little bit more calming.